We all know that all children, whether they’re big or small, have tantrums. Some more than others, but it’s inevitable for any child as they grow and develop.

As parents, we often wonder why this happens, how we can address it, and how we can prevent it from happening again.

I have been working with children for over 10 years and have three of my own. While I have been working in this field, I have learned many ways that will help with tantrums—and some ways that didn’t work out like I thought they would.

So let’s breakdown tantrums by age groups and look at what I have done in the past and present for children that are having tantrums. 

Tantrums in Children Ages 1-2

During this time, language has a lot to do with why children have tantrums.  When children cannot talk or explain what is bothering them, they act out in positive and negative ways. It is our job as educators and parents to be there for each child in a positive way. Letting them know that we understand they are upset, by hugging them or just sitting there with them as they go through the tantrum.  We also can read cues when we know that something will upset a child. By getting in front of the situation, it will be much easier to “control” the situation when it does happen. Knowing each child on a personal level and getting that one-on-one time to learn their different behaviors is super beneficial as well. 

Tantrums in Children Ages 3-5

It is different when the children can talk and express themselves. When children are the ages 3-5 the approach is much different. They can clearly communicate what is going on and what is bothering them.  When older children have their tantrum moments, we need to be able to know each child’s personality, just like it was stated for the younger age group. By spending time independently with each child, we will know what will upset them and what their personalities are like. If a child is upset about something and they are not in the right mind set to explain, you simply can take that child away from the area and have a one-on-one conversation with them. We can sit and listen to what they have to say and give them ways to calmly express their feelings. Having lesson plans of feelings, friendship and boundaries is a good idea as well. By doing this, it will give the children tools to use when they are upset. I know that having a calm spot in the classroom or at home is always a good idea. It can give them a chance to calm down, maybe reading a book, using the “Pop toys” or other sensory items.  After a few minutes, they will be recharged and will be ready to take on the rest of the day!

Below are a few of my favorite articles that are great resources to help you deal with tantrums and difficult behaviors.

Remember, you’re doing great!!

Article References:

https://childmind.org/article/how-to-handle-tantrums-and-meltdowns/

https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/crying-tantrums/tantrums

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html