It’s easy to think about your children developing friendships as they enter into their school age years. Sleepovers, birthday parties and playdates are often viewed as exciting experiences in a child’s elementary and middle school years. 

But, in reality, friendships between children can start to develop as early as infancy, and it’s actually during this stage that we see children start to establish foundational building blocks of friendships – feelings, shared interests, imaginative play, communication and time spent together. Some of your child’s first words will be the names of their classmates, and they will develop their earliest social skills by learning to share feelings and interests throughout their daily experiences with them.

Encouraging your young children to develop friendships early on is not only rewarding for you, but will help them continue to create healthy relationships as they get older.

Give Them Space 

Giving young children unstructured time to spend with each other at play – even when non-verbal – can lead to lasting friendships. When allowed to explore interactions with others on their own terms, children tend to develop stronger social skills because they’re able to learn them “hands on”. 

Young children are learning to understand that their peers have the same feelings they are experiencing – and are still trying to identify for themselves. When they see a friend fall down and cry, children will want to connect with them and ensure that they are “okay.” When they see a classmate laughing or rejoicing at a humorous situation or moment, those emotions will resonate with them as a reflection of their own happy feelings.

As children continue to share experiences with each other, they start to develop a deeper empathy for how the people around them are feeling, and can continue learning to recognize emotions in themselves.

Set Up Play Dates

The more space we give our children’s friendships to grow, the more they will! Don’t be shy to engage and connect with the parents of your child’s classmates, especially the ones you see them gravitating towards, and plan to set up playdates outside of school or child care. 

Play dates can be particularly effective for children that tend to be bit more hesitant about developing friendships in larger groups. Meeting one-on-one at a playground, a local museum, or another neutral site allows hesitant children to feel more comfortable in a smaller, focused setting.

Remember Your Child’s Personality

While it’s easy to get excited about your child making new friends, it’s important to respect that every child is different. If your child has siblings – especially older ones – remembering that each child will develop social skills differently is vital when helping them create friendships that are healthy for them. Support your child by helping to talk them through difficult social situations as they arise, and be cautious not to push or overly-encourage them into scenarios that may make them feel uncomfortable. 

Friendship is a major focus here at the Simon Center, and we’ve seen some of our graduates go on to maintain their friendships well into their teen years. When given space to explore friendship in a supportive, safe environment, there’s no telling how deep those friendship roots will grow!