Biting is seen in toddler group care when a child wants a toy and tries to take it from another child (Sharing toys), if a child is too close (Proximity), if another child wants the adults attention (Sharing caregivers), or when children are tired and hungry (Time of day). Developmentally toddlers are not yet ready to share toys, space, or time with caregivers; or to vocalize their feelings (esp. when tired, hungry or angry) to set boundaries. Therefore biting is often seen in toddler group care.  

Biting may be a developmentally understandable behavior, but it is not a desirable one. Parents tend to be more upset if their child is bitten in school than if they are scratched. Parents of the biter will often feel at fault for something that is certainly not something they can control. The only things the adults can control are their responses to the behavior in that moment. 

Here are the ways we respond to biting in the classroom:

1. We very strongly express that biting our friends is a big “No-no”. 
2. We show the biter that they actually hurt their friend to point out the cause and effect relationship from that action.
3. We practice nice and gentle touches to show them how they can touch their friends, and we remind them that teeth are for eating food, not biting friends.
4. We shadow the biter to be nearby to hopefully intervene before the bite occurs, and give them the words to use to establish boundaries with others… like “my turn”, “I don’t like that”, or “No”.
5. We shadow the bitee if they have become a target for biters in the room, and we give them words to say to protect themselves… like “my turn”, “I don’t like that” or “No”.
6. We have the biter sit with the bitee during the first aid of applying the ice to the bite. This gives them a chance to see that they hurt their friend, to practice nice and gentle touches, to ask if their friend is okay, and to have time away from play because they chose to bite.

Since talking to a toddler hours after the bite occurred will be meaningless, parents really can only address biting at home if it happens at home. However, parents can practice the nice and gentle touches; repeating the simple sentences and phrases of “my turn”, “I don’t like that”, “No” and “are you okay?”; addressing any other aggressive behaviors in the same way; and maybe discussing how teeth are for eating food during meals. There are also books that address this developmental stage that you can read with your little one at home. If your child is the biter or the bitee, just know that this is just a stage, and as your child gains more language biting will become a thing of the past.